The Fantasys! Beginners Guide to hookup Etiquette
By Fantasys! Sentinel
The following is a simple guide on how to get the most out of your hookup experience.
Always do your homework. 30 minutes of online research can not only "save you hundreds on your car insurance" but, it also minimizes the chances of a bad experience, humiliation, and “taking one for the team” (TOFTT). If you choose NOT to do your homework, you will have no one to blame but yourself for your poor experience.
Review sites (such as TER, hookups.com, and Big Doggie) are a good place to start your research. Many providers advertise on discussion boards so you should get started by clicking on their ads and looking at their websites. These sites contain lots of information so, take the time to read everything and don't just stick to staring at photos and rates.
Once you have a provider's name, head back to the message boards and check out their posts and reviews for the past 6 months. This will help give you a better idea on their personality.
This is the first hurdle to clear without falling flat on your face.
If the site has an appointment request form, fill it out and provide ALL the requested information. This is where many make their first mistake; they don't follow instructions. If you don't like a providers contact terms, move on and find someone else. Don't waste their time.
If there's a comment section, do NOT make any rude or sexually suggestive comments. If the provider is truly a professional, doing so will ensure you never hear from them again.
What happens if there isn't a request form? Send an email.
Keep it simple. Subject likes like, "Hi from John" or “Appointment request from Dayton” will get your email read. Do NOT use subjects like, "I need it bad" or "Do me!". Messages like those are an automatic delete.
Here's an example of how your email should sound:
I was wondering if you might have time available during my visit.
((Leave your contact information and when is the best time to reach you))
A word of advice: Spelling and punctuation count. Take the time to proof your email before you send it.
Most providers are very good about returning respectable emails. Expect a response within 48 hours or less. However, you should understand that they may be very busy. Some providers have auto-response system set up and that may be the first email that you get back. Another delay in a reply may be because they are traveling, on vacation, or on an extended appointment. Just because a provider doesn't reply right away, it doesn't mean bad news. If you haven't gotten a response after 3 days, send a second email. Sometimes, messages get deleted by mistake or eaten by Internet gremlins.
Once the provider has responded to your initial request (via email, phone call, etc.), the next step is verification. If you've never seen an hookup before and have no provider references, they are going ask for information that will prove you are not a rogue government agency trying to entrap them.
The provider will likely ask for what seems like personal information. Work phone, company name, who have you seen, who you know, etc.
DON'T FIGHT THIS. They are merely trying to protect themselves and their clients from potential problems. Keep in mind, providers want to make the appointment too but, they also have a vested interest in safety and discretion. Some providers ask for little information, some ask for more. Regardless of how much information they ask for, if you refuse to provide them with the information, you can forget about an appointment. Verification is a safety process that you CANNOT negotiate away.
Setting the appointment
At this point, you may have received a contact number for the hookup companion and instructions on how to make your appointment.
Be sure to follow all instructions. Call from an unblocked number and conduct yourself like you would in any other professional situation. They have a service you want and you are calling to contract those services. Remember, the rules of what you can and cannot say STILL apply.
But what if a man answers?
Calmly and politely say a greeting ("hello", "good afternoon", etc.) followed by, "Did I dial 555-1212?". Often, you HAVE dialed the right number and the bookings happen to be done by a man. No problem!
Asking, "So buddy, how much for a BJ?" or "Have you dated her yourself?" is a guaranteed hang up. It screams "Hi! I'm a dumb ass with no class."
Now that you've gone through all that, now is the time to find out more information about the companion.
Do they have a favorite meal, flower, or wine? What kind of music do they like? What is their favorite thing to do? What do they dislike?
Now this is assuming, this information is NOT on their website. If it is, there is no greater way to look like a fool by asking questions that have already been painstakingly answered previously on their site.
This is also a good time to let them know about you. Talk about your likes, dislikes, etc. but PLEASE DON'T give them your life story. If this is your first time, tell them! If you're nervous, be a MAN and say so. Most hookups are fantastic at putting you at ease as long as you're honest. This is not the time to be shy or tough it out!
Before the Big Day
Some providers will only meet you in a public place the first time while others will come right to your room. Even still, there are a few who prefer a quick 15 or 20 minutes for a get-to-know-you drink the day before.
If the website doesn't cover it, politely ask "What are your first meeting policies?".
Some hookups are very talkative and will call you more than a few times prior to the appointment. Others may only call once or twice. Follow their lead and respect their wishes. Now is NOT the time to be a needy phone stalker.
The Big Day (FINALLY)
Nothing can be stressed more than being clean.
Wait…. one more time: Nothing can be stressed more here than BEING CLEAN.
Be freshly showered, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and be dressed !!
Answering the door in your purple silk boxers may work fine for scaring away Jehovah Witnesses but it is bad for a first meeting. The only pleasure you will have is the probability of watching the hookup walk away; especially if this is your first time.
Don't be under the influence of drugs or if you do partake in that sort of thing, do not bring it with you or have it in the room. Showing up drunk is also a bad idea. Companions of a certain caliber will walk away immediately if you fall into either two of these categories.
There they are, standing in the doorway.
Offer your hand, invite them in, and offer a seat. If you are really savvy, a fresh vase of their favorite flowers is a great touch and invite them to take them when they leave.
Expect to sit and chat for a little bit to break the ice. Have a glass of juice, soda, or wine out to offer. Keep in mind that some providers may refuse alcoholic beverages. Don't be put off by it and don't push the issue. Smile, respect it, and have something else just in case.
You may be asked to show identification. Be thoughtful and have it out along with the fee (in a discrete unmarked white envelope) in clear view on the nearest surface.
Some hookups will count the fee in front of you while others will excuse themselves and go to the bathroom to check all is in order. There are also cases where the companion will not even touch it until the end of the meeting.
Whatever you do, don't ask "So, what am I getting for this?". That's what your research was for and any smart hookup will turn around and walk.
After the small chit chat, the companion may or may not excuse her self to the bathroom while telling you to "get comfortable". This is your sign to "get undressed".
Remember her boundaries and that "No means NO!". If you're still nervous, most hookups will sense this and lead through the meeting. Remember, attitude is key. If you are polite, act like a gentleman, and treat them with respect and dignity, you are pretty much going to have a good time.
Expect condoms to be used. DON'T EVEN ASK NOT TO!
Personal Professional Escort Companions (PPEC's) do NOT offer BBBJ. It is not only unprofessional but foolish and risky. It endangers both your health and theirs.
Some hookups will kiss, some won't. Some offer Greek, others do not. All of these things should be no surprise to you if you have done your homework.
Expect some more small talk at the end of your appointment. Some providers will ask you to write a review. If you're not comfortable writing one, just let them know. Don't promise one and fail to follow up.
Professional companions do not require tipping however, it is ALWAYS a good idea, especially if they has gone extra mile. Let's be honest, he who tips best, get the best service in the long run. The hookups always appreciate them.
Follow up does NOT mean a call or email everyday.
The polite thing to do is send a short email within a couple of days thanking the companion for the time spent. When dealing with an agency, call and let them know you were pleased. Everyone appreciates constructive feedback. Both these actions keep the door open for future positive meetings.
The bottom line is to treat providers like professionals. Treat them the way you expect to be treated, use your manners, and act with kindness, and the respect will be returned by the companion.
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